I am paranoid to say least and being a real human I have made many mistakes unintentionally.One major part of my life is internet/technology/.Of course I am truly grateful so don’t get me wrong. But you cannot be critical of my questions as to the security of all our .Who know how many of us there.And there is all the computer automated things too.What’s real and false. Will I ever get fruitiom of all this time I spend online.Will the overload of info ever be of use?
I know it’s not all for me its for the world but as with everything no one tathewhmewhen the.Of course lots of people family friends neighbours strangers have given me advice but itsoverwhelming and contradictory just like the internet .But there’s no one size fits all rulebook that everyone was given.And being religious make it even more weird.
Since age 10 I have carried out all types of unpaid internet research unlike any other and yes I very much deserve to boast especially as I have gained nothing. Overthinking I am now a 21 yr old and I typing through literal headache.Hopefully the painkiller will help soon.
Also listening to Radio 1 trying to calm down and relax etc.But undoubtedly many others have benefitted even this right now If any of you know how to legitimately make cash from all these years of daily research online ?-all the watching, listening,reading,typing,sharing,posting,time,money,internet,electricity,light,efforts,sacrifices,actions etc?!
In recent years life has got worse and some of many bad things that have occurred is gettint into trouble with police and college staff for apparent. If only they knew the extent of my agony. Desperation to fix problems causes a person to try many things including begging for help to strangers on internet.I literally have jumped on all the social media platform wagons but where has it got me as of yet? So reading a book called Social Research Methods by Alan Bryman as well as recent events in personal life has initiated my need to post this blog.
Most recently and hopefully the final embarassing patronizing time wasting ordeal was being called to a meeting by some woman at college who had printed on which there was some angry use of language which was
The more these incidents have happened my already messef up mind has gone into further paralysis and overdrive messily at same time and among estioms. I mean I am obviously not that interesting, I am not a celebrity, I am not a high flying well known top profile member of societu but I still feel spied upon and if even if my personal emails are not private then what does that say for all the internet.Is anything private at all. And I mean not just government or organisations by time but who exactly are these freakish people who have so much background knowledge of internet and technology and all the terminology?
Whenever I think about the origins and advancement og
I don’t know what my aim is with this kind of non purchase related post but i am interested to know what are your thoughts? Are you as constantly inquisitive as I? Is the internet and technology in favour or not?
Am I alone in feeling so isolated and overhwhelmed and cursed with fear of something I have to use everyday?I mean let’s be real its 2016 you cannot avoid technology and being someone who wants to be up to date and smartest at everything yet its mental torture.
Argh I cannot explain perfect words even though I journal and type and talk and explain and record and document and write so much but this feels very conplex.Am I under the illusion that all know more than me and is this normal?
The more I research I feel even more dumbo? What is wrong with me? Am I ever going to have peace of mind?
I want to be productive but I havent actually achieved anything in all these years in any aspect yes I may havr grown in height a bit. I have also so many how to articles its ridiculous.I wish it would all come to fruition and that I could create something meaningful for world.
I don’t want to waste away a single second.People say only I know the answer but believe me after years of self help books praying meditating and of course internet research I still feel like I l am tragically wasting away and when I acknowlege all these people worldwide younger than me and those younger than me and older including celebrities
Can people please help me.Not useless recomendations and not sarcastic or offensive comments.But like real help.O want perfect ideal productive opportunities that help me and others in best way. I know its possible after all when I see and hear others success. Creative and business and music and film and educational and travel opportunities etc.I am imaginative and creative and hardworking and I would truly appreciate making ideal successful wonderful friends and maybe my overthinking will be of use to world.
I am not even touching upon and I hope with this positive tone I will through law of attraction or whatever bring into my life well deserved events opportunities invites miracles rewards etc.
I still consider myself blessed in every aspect so am trying above and beyond to be righteous & make the most of every second of my precious life.
Bye for now.
Thanks in advance.
Rachel Grace x